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Since when was it ok to be a bitch?


We've all done it. Sat in a coffee shop with your mum. Having cocktails with the girls. Chatting over lunch with your office bestie.

'Did you see so and so? She's put on so much weight. And did you hear so and so spilt up with her boyfriend?'

We all love to gossip. In fact, I feel like it is often what the female race talk about when men are busy chatting about football, golf and whatever men talk about when they go to the pub for a pint. There's a huge difference between gossip - something very surface level, and being a bitch. 

To me, bitching is when a person won't shut up about something or someone. It's a continual whining in my ear. Whether you are annoyed about someone or something, jealous, upset... think about your words. It's so easy to spill someone else's things they've confided in you or say something in bad temper - but does this say more of you than the person you are bitching about? 

It's something I have felt so strongly about this year. I was sick of listening to people around me bitch about situations or people that I started calling them out. 'That's mean"... I've said it so many times this year. But more than that, I have tried to be a reminder to people that they can solve their own problems. I have a saying - 'Only moan about things you don't have the ability to change'. My own mother quotes it back to me when I get annoyed about trivial things. And this is true of bitching - where is it getting you? The other person will either not know you are annoyed or be upset that you've broken their confidence. 

I've really made a stand to call bitching out moving forward. It's not nice and it's not mature. Part of it makes me so uncomfortable as someone who was bullied at school - the playground tones of bitching always take be back there.

It's hard to confront someone who is a serial bitcher. But if you are realising that their negative words are affecting you, maybe it's time you thought about standing up. You'll either fall into their trap and repeat their negative words or you can speak up & tell them you don't appreciate their comments. It's hard to trust someone who constantly speaks ill of others and often, it's not that they is a bad person but rather that they have become so engrossed in the circle of bitching that they can't get out. Use your own influence to be a positive voice to help them resolve their issues or to see that their bitching actually won't make them feel any better about the situation.

What's your thoughts? Let me know at @GemmaLEBond